upstairs

[xatalantax]

The guy with the bedroom over ours seems to have a special nightly routine. As near as I can figure, it goes like this:

1. Shift furniture around.
2. Rearrange brick collection.
3. Practice whip-cracking technique with extension cords on floor.
4. Scatter handfuls of grapeshot.
5. Bedtime!

What I really can't figure out is the grapeshot noise. Is he flinging down his marbles after a bad day at the playground? Feeding a giant clockwork gerbil? What?

Comments

[irene-adler.livejournal.com]

I must admit that's hilarious, though. Have you read the early Internet classic The Loser Living Upstairs (http://www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/Lights/5427/loser.html)?

[eeyrg.livejournal.com]

pocket change?

[cyclotron.livejournal.com]

Seconded

[atalanta.livejournal.com]

but it _rolls_, all over the floor. the noise certainly makes me picture spherical things.

[alonewiththemoon]

I think Voltaire wrote a song for you guys (seriouslah):

The guy upstairs is such a freak,
for five years now I've had a leak.
What does he do up there?
All day long he "sleeps all day"
then he goes out and comes home
in the most intoxicated way.
As far as I can tell, he juggles bowling balls
but he's not good at it.
He moves his furniture then at six am
he pulls out the vacuum cleaner
to suck his room.
The guy downstairs is also crazy,
he spent some time in an institute.
It did him not much good.
He's off his medication
and he starts screaming,
"Virgin Mary, you fucking alien!"
According to him Jesus Christ smokes crack
and other sundry things.
But it's the man upstairs who pulls the strings.
Won't let me sleep.

Please, kill that man upstairs.
If you ever loved me, you'll do this one thing,
won't you sweetheart?
Please, murder that man upstairs.
If you want to be my friend
you'll have to prove you mean it.

I used to think that rent control was a good idea
until I moved in here. Now I'm the only sucker
paying more than a hundred bucks a room.
And I'm surrounded by lunatics who don't
even need a moon.
But it's the man upstairs who pulls the strings
won't let me sleep.

Then there's the lady across the hall
who always knows what's going on
and Machu Pichu down the stairs
who is selling crack from to door.
14B are refugees and 14A transvestite whores.
But you know who is coming home
he's falling up his drunken stairs......

Please, kill that man upstairs.
If you ever loved me, you'll do this one thing,
won't you sweetheart?
Please, murder that fuck upstairs.
...If you want to be my friend
you''ll help me get a good night sleep.


Voltaire - The Man Upstairs

[cyclotron.livejournal.com]

Whip craking -> Jump rope, to fit your scenerio

[militart.livejournal.com]

Definitely a serial killer. Call the police now.

[makaer.livejournal.com]

This is what he is doing:
1. Move chest aside to revel the pentagram he has burned into the floor.
2. Arrange lead candle sticks around it.
3. Trace runes with a dead snake
4. Roll 10d6 to see if the summoning will work.
5. It failed again, time for bed. (it's a once per time spell ya know)

At least, that is what I do before bedtime...

[curtana.livejournal.com]

One of the guys upstairs from our old apartment used to have a similar routine involving moving furniture, walking in high heels, and dropping a single ball bearing over and over again. What was he doing? It is a mystery.

Glad to be gone from there now...

[henrysbag.livejournal.com]

maybe he's shadow boxing and the filling in the boxing glove is coming out a small rip in the side of the glove. This would explain the grapeshot.